Riley Wheeler
Fiction & Poetry
The flickering light in the bathroom constantly shifted the shadows around me as I stared into the mirror. My reflection looked back on me with shame. I’m just a husk of the man I used to be. I turned on the sink and filled my glass with water.
I put my hand out and opened my medicine cabinet. I slowly pulled out every non-liquid type of medicine we had and dumped them onto the bathroom counter. I scooped up a small handful of random pills and put them in my mouth, then I spit them all into the toilet. I then picked up the rest of the pills and threw them into the toilet as well.
The walk to my room was as dreadful as always. Each step carried me by the empty rooms in the corridor. I first walked by my study, a room where I closed myself off to work for many nights while my wife did chores around the house.
I then walked by my wife’s office. My wife worked from home just like I did. I wish I had noticed that she was overwhelmed sooner. I finally walked up to the nursery.
I walked into the room and ran my hand across the baby blue walls slowly coming up to his crib. I set my hand down on his blanket and closed my eyes. I wish she had gotten to meet him while she was here, and I wish I had gotten to truly know my son as well. I then stepped back into the hallway and finished the walk to my room.
I layed down on my bed and stared into the ceiling, I could feel my eyes start to feel heavy as I pondered my choices. My room felt so cold and lifeless even though I was still alive. I still have no clue why she had so many complications and why things continued to be complicated with him. I know he’s fine with her now. I know they are both happy. I tried every single day for two years to continue and start over for them, but it doesn't matter how hard I try. I can’t be happy without them.
I closed my eyes and slowly started to fall asleep. I could hear each heartbeat grow quieter and quieter as I drifted down. The lower I got the warmer I felt, this place felt so welcoming and so scary at the same time. By the time I reached what I could only assume was the bottom of this dark cave, I couldn’t hear anything at all. I hope I don’t get pulled out of these chambers again. I know I really want to just stay here and fall into what I believe is the truly infinite abyss, but I know I’m not able to
Abyss
I'm Sorry I Didn't Say Goodbye
1 .
I come home and it’s empty, a place filled with unfulfilled dreams. Memories of a sickness, and a never ending war.
2.
The first battle was won, the second was close. The third battle should have been the easiest, but the last two left you weak.
3.
I couldn’t say goodbye; I wouldn’t want to see you that way. The glory of winning the battle faded when you lost the war.
The Frozen Field
In the frozen field, trees sweep silk clouds, the wind pushes snow, until piles huddle like frightened children, below their mothers’ skirts, trees shaking fists at the sky.
The sky is grey, with thin clouds letting in the sun's light. The cold air blows across the bottom of dark clouds, shifting the clouds throughout the sky.
The thought of color still lingered in the fall, with red and yellow leaves covering lively trees. Now the trees are barren in the cold white field.
