“When I was a kid, the doctors gave me a deadline. I heard what they said to my parents when they thought I couldn’t hear. First, I wouldn’t make it to eight, then eleven, then fifteen.”

“You’re still alive though,” Jack pointed out. 

He and Ash sat at the dining room table. On it sat a pale green vase with forget-me-nots, Ash’s favorite flower for reasons he never disclosed. It was something from his childhood, Jack knew.

There was one more thing on the table now, though: a little velvet box. It was small enough to fit in Jack’s palm, and Jack knew exactly what was inside. He had a similar box in his own pocket, after all, though his was purple rather than Ash’s blue.

Jack shifted his gaze to his love. His dark brown hair was tamer than usual, with no noticeable tangles at all. And his eyes, purple like the flowers in the vase, looked brighter than usual. The color was accented by the black eyeliner he wore. It was a rare sight to see Ash with makeup. He only dolled himself up for special occasions. 

“Yeah,” Ash agreed. “But because of all that stuff, I fell into a bad crowd, and spent all that time high. I destroyed my life.”

“I remember,” Jack said. “I helped you clean up.”

Ash’s lips quirked. “You told me to go to rehab or you’d leave me to die alone. I was sick in a hospital bed, Jack.”

“I thought you were going to die,” Jack said. He forced a smile. 

“So you threatened to abandon me.”

“It worked, didn’t it?” 

Ash sighed. “Wish I’d met you sooner.” Ash cleared his throat and nudged the box toward Jack. “I know better than to think I’ll live ‘until we’re gray and old,’ as you humans like to put it. But, while I’m still here, I want to stay with you. I want to be by your side. And I can promise you that I won’t ever relapse again, and I won’t keep any secrets. I swear to the gods.”

Jack’s heart fluttered and his breaths quickened, but he forced down the grin trying to form and nudged the box back toward his love. “None of that, Ash. I’m not accepting it unless you get on one knee and propose to me properly.”

Ash’s flush spread from his neck all the way to the tips of his ears. He stood quickly and rounded the table before grabbing the box and dropping clumsily to one knee at Jack’s side. He jerked the box open and exposed the silver band within. A glistening zultanite was set right in the center. It was small but noticeable. The light reflecting off it made it look like it was changing colors. 

This time, no matter how hard Jack tried, he couldn’t fight the grin on his lips.

“Jack, will you… marry me?” 

Ash started out firmly, but with every new word, his strength decreased exponentially, until his final two were hardly louder than a breath.

“Yes,” Jack whispered. He couldn’t recall ever being happier than he was now, in this very moment, as the love of his life slid that zultanite ring onto his finger.

“I was worried,” Ash commented as he leaned back. His eyes were fixed on the ring.

Jack’s eyebrows rose. “You were? Why?”

“I just thought- I got it in my head that-” Ash paused and drew a breath before starting again. “Relationships with people like me tend not to work. I’ve been getting sicker recently, having more episodes. I’ll need to start taking meds again very soon, and I’ll depend on you. You’ll be under so much more stress.” He faltered. “Have you thought about this?”

Jack hesitated. He didn’t fight with his parents much. They’d done more for him than anyone in his life, and he loved them dearly. However, since he met Ash, their fights had grown more serious and occurred more often. They also revolved almost exclusively around the issues Ash was bringing up now.

“I have,” Jack admitted. “And I’ve had a lot of indecision about it. You know me, Ash. You know how I do things, how decisive I am.”

“Yeah.” Ash’s lips twitched upward. “Works great on date night.”

Jack snorted before he could stop himself. He took several deep breaths to calm the racing of his heart before he spoke again. “When I saw you have an episode for the first time, I was terrified, more so than I ever was before. You just crumbled right in front of me. I couldn’t wake you up. And when I took you to the hospital and learned how sick you really were…”

“I told them not to tell you,” Ash mumbled. “I didn’t want to worry you.”

Jack gave Ash a hard look. “My best friend’s girlfriend died, Ash. She was seventeen, only five years younger than you are now. She had the same diagnosis, and she died. This is terminal. Not ‘if’ but ‘when’. What if you came in one day and I was dead on the floor? Apparently I was sick for the last two decades of my life and I decided not to tell you, my partner. How would you react?”

Ash lowered his head. “I didn’t think about that.”

“Ash, I’m not saying this to hurt you. I just want you to see it from my side. I worry every time you have an episode. I wonder if you may fall one day, and you won’t get back up again. That horrifies me. The idea that I could be out working one day while you-” His voice choked and he drew in a sharp breath. 

“But I realized that despite my fear, I still want to be with you. I want to be able to love you, make memories with you, and make your last years happy.” Jack reached down and drew out the box in his pocket. “This might be a little selfish, but I’ve been holding this ring for the last two months, stalling and trying to find a good time, and I’m not letting this go to waste.”

Ash’s eyes widened and he coughed into his hand. 

Jack noticed the little details, like how he kept his hand up, pressed it to his cheek, and failed to hide the blush that crept across his face. 

“You wanted to propose?” Ash croaked. 

Jack grinned and chose not to mention Ash’s display, for now. “Does that surprise you much?”

Ash huffed. “No, not really.” He cleared his throat and straightened his shoulders. “So, you want to propose to me? Go on, then.”

Jack bit back a laugh at Ash’s bravado. “It’ll sound short because I already said half of it.” He breathed in and out, slow and deep, to calm the rapid pace of his heart. “When I first saw you, I was bewildered. You were an odd sight. Five feet tall, carrying a basket of baked goods nearly half your height. You gave me the basket as if I could eat even a quarter of it on my own.”

“I forgot humans don’t eat as much as shifters,” Ash muttered.

As a puma shifter, Ash’s anatomy was different from Jack’s, as was his need to eat twice his weight on a regular basis. While most people might have been alarmed, Jack recognized his father’s appetites.

“You were secretly hoping I’d ask you to stay.”

“Just a little.”

Jack remembered the day they met like it was yesterday. “We sat in the YA section, surrounded by books I hadn't put away yet. You ate more than half the food in the basket.”

“I was hungry.”

Jack didn’t try to hide his smile. “And after that impromptu first date, you tried to leave without even telling me your name.”

“I got nervous.”

“I dragged you back to me, got your name, and, gods, you made the prettiest sound when I kissed you.”

“You surprised me.”

Ash’s eyes were fixed on him, and when Jack knelt and opened the box, Ash tracked his movements with the predatory stare of a feline.

It was a small ring, made of silver with an inscription inside, a secret phrase only the two of them would ever need to know. It didn’t look like a normal engagement ring would, with eye-catching gems of various colors and sizes, but Ash never cared much for material goods, and Jack knew that. As with most shifters, it was the gesture that mattered most.

Jack stared at the ring and felt a sudden, inexplicable bout of nervousness. Ash already proposed. In fact, he proposed first. Why wouldn’t he accept? Yet as Jack examined the ring, caught a glimpse of the words inside, he couldn’t help but feel inadequate. The ring wasn’t enough, or maybe he should’ve waited to propose, or maybe he just shouldn’t have proposed at all. 

Jack realized he was spiraling and took a steadying breath. He pushed all the negative thoughts to the back of his mind and forced out the words that had been stuck in his throat since he picked up the ring from the jeweler. “Ash, will you give me the honor of calling you my husband?”

With every second of silence that followed, Jack’s heartbeat that much harder. Finally, after way too much time, Ash let out a sharp breath and nodded rapidly. Jack let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding as Ash held out his hand.

“You left me hanging on purpose,” Jack accused as he slid the ring onto Ash’s finger.

“I did not,” Ash replied as he sank to the floor in front of Jack. “Mostly.”

“Mostly,” Jack echoed. Before he knew it, he was laughing.

Ash smiled. “You’re very good with your words, Jack.”

Jack calmed and looked down at where his fingers were entwined with Ash’s. “I mean, I do pride myself on my ability to tell stories, don’t I?”